At the weekend I went shopping for a new duvet, determined to treat myself to a lovely light goose feather and down version, which I duly did. I then popped into the Boundary Mills discount shop with my friend Rach, to look for business clothes for her. 'Let's just have a quick look at the Radley section' I said, being something of a Radley bag fanatic. And there she was.... the pink holdall, reduced from £250 to £99.
I made a beeline for her. Oh the beauty, the softness and the pinkness. Love at first sight. I picked her up and put her down again and nonchalantly wandered off to look at other bags. I could have bought half the stock. But I could not get the Pink Bag off my mind. I went and picked her up again. 'I so want this, but I shouldn't' I said to Rach. 'Why not? 'said Rach; 'The only reason not to have it is if you can't afford it'. 'Well I have the money,' I replied, 'but I shouldn't be spending it.' Rach gave me a quizzical look and wandered off to see what tempted her.
I was flooded with feelings of desire and guilt. I could hear my mother's voice, bless her, tutting in my head, 'You don't need it; you've got a perfectly adequate bag you can use'; and my father's voice reminding me how money just slips through my fingers - despite him being the one who, when I was 17 and couldn't decide which pair of shoes to have, bought me both pairs!
With palpitations I took The Bag and approached the pay desk. Almost with my eyes closed I paid for her and tried to justify to myself why she was such a good and sensible purchase (other than the reduced price). And as I was walking back to the car I thought, 'What the hell am I doing? All this time I am spending learning about the Law of Attraction, reading The Secret, The Cosmic Ordering System and other books, and trying to put into practise the principles of flow and attraction and gratitude, and here I am feeling guilty about buying something beautiful which I can afford. How am I so not trusting myself to generate more money flow to replace what I have just spent? I am blocking the flow of everything I am trying to get flowing!!!'
I looked at The Bag in my hand, lifted her and kissed her squarely. 'You beautiful thing', I said to her. 'Thank you for teaching me that lesson. I clearly needed to know that right now. From now I trust my capabilities to create a wonderful money flow'.
I think Rach thought I was a bit mad, but then it wouldn't be the first time she's thought that!
Tina B, Diva
The Pink Bag Lady