Yesterday I did my regular 'slot' on BBC Radio Leicester with Tony Wadsworth. I love being behind a microphone and doing these radio sessions, but I sometimes feel we only scratch at the surface in the half an hour that I'm on. Our topic of conversation this week was - are we all damaged by life in some way? And what makes some people use it as a stick to beat themselves with, while others seem to find motivation and drive from it?
Yes I think life throws curved balls at us and rare are those people who have had a charmed life and are unaffected by difficult experiences or events. Most of us have had life events which 'damage' us in some way. But I guess it's not what happens to us, but how we respond to it that matters.
Waddo's view was 'shit happens... deal with it... move on'; which I happen to agree with. The critical phrase being the words 'deal with' as opposed to 'bury under a stiff upper lip', because we Brits do have a liking for burying our feelings and pretending that all will be ok. Feelings buried alive never die. They just fester away in the depths of our being until they break out one day, sometimes in a most inappropriate way or inconvenient place. There are many (Louise Hay, Candace Pert and Deepak Chopra to name just three) who believe that our dis-ease manifests itself as disease and is responsible for most of the illnesses we experience, especially the big ones and cancers in particular.
So how do we 'deal' with our feelings? How do we know that there are feelings to deal with - especially if the event that caused them happened years ago, as in the case of my brother dying.
My own rule of thumb these days is if I feel the need to cry and it's not because I am moved by a piece of music or a story, then my soul is telling me a feeling needs to be acknowledged and dealt with. Now that I have done so much energy work with Sally, I'm getting pretty good at letting the feeling come, locating it in my body, noticing its colour and texture, softening it and letting it go. Sometimes I don't even need to know what it is, just that its there. Sometimes it needs a bit of deeper surgery and sometimes it needs a return visit to Sally for some power-blasting.
I certainly recommend energy work, particularly for buried feelings, and particularly if you feel you are talked out but haven't quite got to the bottom of 'it' yet. A couple of my friends who have been down the counselling route reached a point where they felt there was nothing left to say, but still 'stuff' to deal with. Energy therapies really helped them. Check out Sally's website if you'd like to know more: www.innersolutions-uk.com.
So why do some people use their life experiences as an excuse and some use it as a driving force? Is it part of our genetic make up? Can we change it?
I'll ponder this one on my next post, and I'll think up my top tips for 'dealing with' our emotional stuff. If you have any thoughts on the matter, feel free to add them.
Tina B x