May diary

These diary entries have been removed from my website www.divadom.co.uk and put here so you can post your own thoughts and experiences.

May 2006
What a strange month May was! And another month of lessons - do we ever stop learning? At the beginning of the month I enjoyed a fabulous holiday in Morocco. Certainly after the rollercoaster of the last few months I needed that time away to regenerate the batteries. It was so lovely to lie in the sun and feel its warmth. I find something very healing in the warmth of the sun. While there I bought the most beautiful pink leather jacket - a real Diva jacket! It is so soft and I feel utterly gorgeous in it.

When we feel utterly gorgeous, we tend to exude gorgeousness too and we become like the sun, radiating warmth that other people want to bask in. My friend Claire and I decided to have our favourite day out at Borders bookshop and I wore my pink Diva jacket. I joked that it was my 'pulling' jacket and Claire said 'Well, if you pull in Borders, at least we'll know he can read!' (A man who reads is one of my important criteria - more on that in a mo). Well, divas, I pulled in Borders. I smiled at this guy and after skulking around the shelves plucking up courage to speak to me, he gave me his phone number. We have met a couple of times and I am not sure he is the 'right' man for me. I need to encourage him out of his shyness to know him better, but he does at least read!

My aha for this month seemed to be about men and choices. Claire and I were discussing how we select the criteria against which we decide if a man is right for us or not. When Claire married her husband she chose him because she knew she wanted a family and she wanted a man who she could trust to be a good parent. And she got just that - her husband is the best father you could ever wish for. But now the kids are 10 and 8, Claire is discovering that she needs to find a new man in her husband - a man who is a good companion for her, because up to now her focus has been on family rather than herself. Its an interesting and exciting journey for her. And having spent some time with a friend who is divorcing, a friend who is dating again after her husband died and me who never has quite found the 'right' man, Claire very definitely wants to find this man for her inside her marriage not out of it.

All of which got me thinking about criteria - just what am I looking for in a partner? How will I know when those things are present? I am pondering this still and will write this up in my diary when I have some answers, just in case you are pondering these questions too.